It has been 6 weeks, the koas thing. I feel so blessed for what i see, what i learn, and what i have. Indeed, for everything. Though maybe what others see, learn, and have could be waaay better than i do, i think i'd rather choose to be grateful. I just want to be a happy beautiful and sweet and young koas :)
Experience
I saw, assist, and help childbearing process times. I saw several babies born with congenital anomalies, or even dead (intrauterine fetal demise). Have you ever thought how horrible it is when the mother has been pregnant for 8-9 months, carrying the baby around all the time, searching names for the future child, getting nausea, urinating frequently, getting ugly stretch marks, and giving birth painfully, but the baby's just born dead. It is heartbreaking.
There was a case also, about 26 years old primigravid mother who had eclampsia. She died in ICU because of coma, and so did her baby inside. Just imagine how it feels like to be her husband. They were just married for a year, her wife was still young, they were waiting their first child to come, picturing a happier life. But BAM! Out of nowhere, he lost both. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. How we should be grateful for what we have.. And it reminds us to death, the only certain yet unpredictable event of our life.
Of course i have happy experiences too. Honestly, my heart is always totally melting when i hear a father do azan beside his baby. My melting heart then make my daydreamy brain to picture the same moment. A moment when my (future) husband do azan beside my our baby. Aaa i’m so h-a-p-p-y, i’m gonna cry! Hehe i hope i will have the moment someday, amin :)
Mistakes
I do make mistake(s). It is uncountable. I think they are mostly because i don't know what to do, or how doing it right and quick, or simply where to put drugs or any other equipment. So i think orientation and observation are the very first two things that should be done when we get to new 'job' or let's say, environment.
There was a time when the-fear-of-doing-mistakes keeping me from trying. That time I was offered to assist myomectomy operation and i almost say no. I said, "but I know nothing, doc." But the doctor simply said, "Of course. If you know everything then you'll learn no more." Such a simple thought that i actually (frequently) forgot. We learn from mistakes. It doesn't mean that mistake-is-okay-so-i-do-things-just-as-i-want. I think making mistake is so human, but we (try to) learn, time by time, not to make the same mistake. Every pro must has been an amateur once, right? :D
So people, let’s be grateful and positive! Because they will bring you joy and success. Amiin :)
